November 26 - the day before Thanksgiving 2014

What am I most thankful for this year?  My daughter moved to San Francisco this year and I found out she's homesick for our family Thanksgiving.  I am most thankful for that... that Bridgett is homesick. Knowing that she is a little homesick for Thanksgiving lets me know I might have done something right.

My own family never was too big on Thanksgiving that I can remember.  Fact is, I can't remember until after my grandma died when I was in the sixth grade.  After that we started going to my Uncle Bill's house and I got to know some of my cousins on dad's side and looked forward to seeing them once a year.  We all grew up and it became hit or miss on meeting and it got to the point where I never spent Thanksgiving the same place two years in a row.  That all changed 22 years ago.

I had moved to Cincinnati, gotten married (to a girl from Nashville that I met after I moved to Cincinnati) and started a family.  Lynn and I lived in an old row house in Queensgate.   It was a three story divided into three apartments in a downtown neighborhood in transition that never quite transitioned.  One of Lynn's friends from work was looking for a new place to live and we talked her into moving into the upstairs apartment.  Her name was Juanita.

I am also thankful for Juanita, as is everyone who visits our house for Thanksgiving.

Juanita liked to cook and she was good. She'd remark from time to time that she never saw white people enjoy soul food so much.  We had to explain to her that Cincinnati Soul Food was nothing more than home cookin' down south.  (except for the oxtail soup, never had that growing up... never want to have it again as a grownup. - I thought those were pinwheel pasta that didn't get cooked all the way - until Juanita's boyfriend helped me make the connection)

Bridgett was born the end of October in 1992.  Our parents alternated coming up to help out at first and my parents were going to be there on Thanksgiving.   I was going to buy a prepared meal but Juanita heard and would have nothing to do with that.  So on Thanksgiving Day 1992, Juanita Harris would run up and down the stairs at our old row house checking on me and teaching me how to make Turkey and Dressing.  (She had to teach me how to make cornbread before she taught me how to make dressing).

The grandparents would alternate years coming up for Thanksgiving until the last year , then we had them both up to Cincinnati at the same time.  (1995)

After we moved back to Nashville and got settled we started cooking Thanksgiving and inviting the extended family over.  These are some of the best times we have.  Through it all, Bridgett has always been my number one helper.

Some years she'd write the menu, other years she'd make the guest list, greet "the customers" and check them off the list.  As she got older she'd help me cook.  She always taste tested to make sure everything was done to perfection.

The last couple of years she became the bartender and made sure the cook had the strongest Bloody Mary while making Mimosa's for her mom and the other ladies.

I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't cooked Thanksgiving Dinner in the last 22 years.  Bridgett is the reason I started cooking Thanksgiving Dinner and this will be the first year we will not be together for it.

I was really sad when I realized we wouldn't see Bridgett for Thanksgiving, but then didn't think about it much as the grind of life took over.  As fall approached, I started to realize it was going to be harder than I thought - but that's just me - when I'm not grumpy, I'm emotional.  For me,
Thanksgiving wouldn't be what it is today for me if not for Bridgett  (and Juanita, of course).

So, when Bridgett let on she was a little homesick - I was happy. Not because I'm mean and don't want her to be happy, but because it makes me think I did something right.  I know all those Thanksgiving's meant something to her and she will have those memories all the rest of her life. Maybe in a few years I'll be at her house teaching her how to make cornbread in a skillet and how to give a turkey a deep tissue massage - unless she finds her own Juanita.

Happy Thanksgiving to all - and especially to the girl who owns my heart... I'll miss you at the table this year.  We all will.

Danny Butler
November 26, 2014